FearLESS Parenting Interview of Shellee Howard

My guest this week is College Ready’s CEO, Shellee Howard. Shelle is a sought after speaker and consultant to 100’s of college bound students around the world and is widely regarded as one of the world’s leading college planners and strategy consultants. Her ground breaking strategies help students get into their best match colleges. Best of all, many graduate debt free with a job they love waiting for them.

Shellee Howard’s Book: https://collegereadyplan.com/book/ CoLllege Ready Website: https://collegereadyplan.com/about-us/  

And don’t forget about our Live2Lead Event; which we are using as a fundraising event. At Live2Lead, You Can Up Level Your  Leadership While Helping Aspiring College Student By Helping Organizations Like Folds Of Honor: l2lhost.com/nwardjourney  

For More Information On Folds Of Honor: https://player.vimeo.com/video/253285064?app_id=122963

#collegefunding #leadership #collegeaccess #studentsfirst

What I've Learned From Fariytales - Avoiding And/Or Escaping Victim & Entitlement Mentalities

Things I learned from Cinderella and a Prince.

Many people today have a victim mentality, and an entitlement mentality, or both. Throughout my life, I have encountered this time and time again. The victim and entitlement mentality mindsets are highly addictive. It affects both the person troubled with these negative mindsets and those they come into contact with.

A victim mentality can be thought of as a sick addictive cycle of perpetual misery. It happens when an individual encounters an injustice, real or perceived, done to them. Victim mentality individuals (VMI) will become angry – sad – depressed and repeat the cycle. They never take positive steps to overcome the obstacle of the injustice and find healing. VMI’s become rooted in self inflicted misery and fertilize their lack of development, by blaming anything or anyone they can point a finger at. VMI’s, at best, embrace just enough constructive material around them to sustain life. However, they never take in enough positive substance for personal growth or move on with their lives.

If they take any action at all, the action is usually of a harmful nature. The actions of VMI’s are usually to create more victims. VMI’s allow anger, rage, and hurt to build to such a point that they create a regrettable venom of envy and self-loathing, which not only poisons themselves, but others as well. Out of this poison comes a hierarchy that most VMI’s embrace – “he who steps upon others gets stepped upon the least.” A VMI will bully others both physically and emotionally.

Take a look at Cinderella’s step-sisters. Unhappy with their own physical attributes and personal talents, Cinderella’s step sisters became VMI’s. They felt victimized by Cinderella’s attributes and talents. Cinderella’s sisters felt that such attributes and talents were better suited for someone else – like them. Cinderella sisters felt it was an injustice that Cinderella should have these attributes and talents. Therefore, to rise above the injustice done to them, Cinderella’s sisters stepped all over poor Cinderella each and everyday.

Cinderella was the perfect candidate for having a victim mentality. Cinderella could have thrown a daily pity party for herself. Her step-mother did not like her, her step-sisters treated her with contempt, she was dirty and filthy, she was the family slave and she did not even have a bed to sleep in. However, Cinderella never gave into the temptation of embracing a victim mentality.

Now let’s talk about Entitlement Mentality Individuals [or EMI’s]. I learned from the Prince, that no one is entitled to anything that is not given freely to them or earned. There are many, in today’s society, that feel they are entitled to whatever they can imagine. Entitlement mentality is the perceived right somebody believes they have to do or receive something. Entitlement mentality starts out as a desire to do or receive something. There is nothing wrong with desiring something or wanting to receive something, especially if a person has worked to earn it or someone gives it freely to somebody. However, some people fixate on what they desire to do or want to the point that they believe that it is their divine right to have that desire. In effect they become an EMI. Both Cinderella step-mother and step-sisters believed that the step-sisters had the right to marry the prince. Keep in mind that they never consulted the Prince about this right, but never-the-less each were totally convinced of this “perceived right.” Nor, did it really matter what the Prince thought about the matter, because the step-sisters just knew he was the destined to marry them.

Let’s take a closer look at EMI’s. An EMI, when invited to dinner, have a tendency to run to the head of the table and are often embarrassed when they are re-seated near the end of the table. EMI’s are not satisfied with just being invited to sit at the table. Such was the case when the Prince came to find the owner of the slipper - Cinderella. Cinderella’s step-mother and sisters ran to the head of the line, but they did not fit the slipper. They where not what the good Prince was looking for and he knew it, even as both step-sisters tried on the slipper. Reality finally hit the step-mother and the step-sisters as Cinderella was brought forward. At that point, Cinderella’s step-sisters found themselves, so to speak, re-seated to the rear of the table. Cinderella was the right fit for the Prince. Despite her rags and untidy appearance, the Prince knew she was the right one, even as Cinderella put on the slipper.

VMI’s often have entitlement mentalities and vice versa. It is like a dog chasing its tail. It is a vicious circle of dizzy motion and frustration which takes the victim nowhere. The VMI’s simply grows tired and rarely catches their entitlement tail. And when they do catch their entitlement tail, the VMI’s do not know what to do with it. Soon the victim lets go of the entitlement tail and the warped chase begins again.

No one should give into having a Victim’s Mentality. Each person has wonderful gifts and unique talents that will take them places that they would have never imagined, if only they would just apply them. Yes bad things may have occurred in a person’s life, but that is ok. Bad things happen and guess what, bad things will happen again in everyone’s life. But instead of being a victim, people need to learn to use difficult circumstances as a motivation to grow. A victim feels entitled to things they have not earned or freely received from another. A non-victim will overcome. As an over comer, a non-victim will simply earn what they are entitled to and with that, comes a sense of accomplishment that motivates one to achieve even more. Do not be a victim in chase of your entitlement tail. It is frivolous and makes the person look just plain ridiculous. Instead focus on becoming an over comer and go hard after your dreams - instead of going after your tail!

Are you capable of seeing 20 / 20 inside and out?

As a Christian Life and Career coach, I have noted that most people have better outward vision than inner vision. That is, they act as if they can see others qualities better than they can see the qualities of themselves. Everyone of us where wonderfully and fearfully made by God, but so few of us take the time to obtain a 20 / 20 look inside ourselves in order to find out exactly what type of amazing creation we are. The purpose of this article is to get you thinking and acting on ways to see the qualities of your inner self first and others second, so that you can promote your personal growth and development.

If I asked most people what their individual gifts, talents, or capabilities are, very few would be able to quickly respond and give me an answer. Most have to really think about it and then answer. And even then, they are not 100 percent sure that they are right. Isn’t it kind of weird that people are not sure about themselves and can only give their best guess about their God given talents? Now if I ask them to tell me the faults or even good points about their boss or a co-worker, most can do so very quickly. Weird or not, it is reality that people are more observant about others than themselves.

More often than not, even though we think we can see 20 / 20 into others and know their faults and strengths, we are wrong. We are often mistaken, because we do not understand the complexities within our own lives – much less understanding the complexities in someone else’s life. Before we can do understand others, we need to have a 20 / 20 look into ourselves to understand who we are, what our talents are, and what we want to do with our talent in our lives and careers.
Understanding who and what you are will help you to understand that not only are you a unique and special person, but so is everyone else. One of the best ways to see this is to take one of the Myers-Briggs® assessments. “…For more than 50 years, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) instrument has been the world's most trusted and widely used assessment for understanding individual differences and discovering new ways to work and interact with others…” The results of this tool will point out an individual's strengths and unique gifts, while also pointing out vulnerabilities and areas for personal development. Within groups, the MBTI is helpful to help recognize and value differences among individuals, so that strengths can be combined and some interpersonal difficulties may be more easily overcome.
In addition to the MBTI®, there is also the FIRO-B® (Fundamental
Interpersonal Relations Orientation–Behavior), Strong® (Strong Interest Survey), and CPI® (California Psychological Inventory) assessment tools which can be used to better understand yourself and others. The FIRO-B, a widely used tool, can help anyone not only understand their own behavior, but the behavior of others around them. And as such, the FIRO-B is an invaluable tool not only for discovering who you are, but for team building, management training, or communication workshops.

The Strong® helps individuals discover their personal interests and chart a plan of action regarding their individual careers. The Strong® presents a clear picture of not only your special interest, but your learning, leadership, and risk-taking styles in relation to the various jobs, work settings, and career fields in today’s world. The Strong Inventory® has special assessments for adults, college students and even high school students. People need to know that, from a young high school student to late adulthood, it is never too early or too late to discover your personal interest and set yourself upon a path that will lead to your ultimate success in life.

The CPI 260™ assessment opens a new dimension into people's strengths and opportunities for personal growth and development, offering an exciting picture of the person as seen through the eyes of others. There are two remarkable CPI assessment reports: The Feedback Report and The Coaching Report For Leaders. The Feedback Report covers five areas: Dealing with Others, Self-Management, Motivations and Thinking Style, Personal Characteristics, and Work-Related Measures. While the Coaching Report For Leaders covers the following five areas: Self-Management, Team Building and Teamwork, Organizational Capabilities, Problem Solving, and Sustaining Your Personal Vision (and the vision of the work place). This is powerful information that can shape what you can do to grow and develop yourself.

So are you ready to see 20 / 20 inside yourself and outside of yourself? Are you ready to act and find out just who you are? Once you know better who you are, you will open yourself up to an assortment of positive things that will promote your personal growth and development. As I said before, the better you can see the qualities of who you are will indicate how well you can see the qualities of others. Being able to see 20 / 20 inside and out will help move you towards ultimate success in all aspects of your life. There is nothing holding you back except you so don’t bury or hide away your individual talents. Improve upon your talents by obtaining a 20 / 20 inner and outer vision now for brighter expectations for your life tomorrow.

If you would like more information, you can go to www.realcoach.org – where you can not only obtain information, but full sample copies (many in color) of various different assessments. Here’s to your ultimate success.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really explore coaching to increase your personal growth & development by Clicking Here or the various line of Myers-Briggs©, FIRO-B©, STRONG©, & CPI© assessments at www.realcoach.org. He also has awesome newsletter – to subscribe email him at timetoexplore@aweber.com Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217.

Practical Things I've Learned From Fairytales – Goal Setting

As a Christian Life and Leadership Coach, I attempt to coach others about success. I point out that success comes through vision, goals, action steps, and diligence. Some feel entitled to have success, but no matter how “entitled” one feels, success rarely comes to those without vision, goals, action steps and diligence. Now all of these seem like very adult oriented topics, but I learned all about them as a child, when I read the story of the Little Red Hen.

The Red Hen found some wheat seeds and from that she had a vision. The Red Hen could have stopped right there with the finding of the seeds, but she was positive minded. She saw what those seeds could become – a loaf of bread. Without a vision, we do not know where we are going and with out a vision, we do not know when we have arrived at success. Her vision gave her the starting point for her journey to success.

The Red Hen tried to share her vision with the other barnyard animals and motivate them to in share her vision. The other animals made their feelings clear to the Red Hen. They neither cared nor had the time for her vision. They sought to be a negative and visionless influence upon her. This happens many times in life. How many times have you had a good ideal, only to have it dashed by the opinions of other people? Many times these are our friends, associates, or fellow employees who, themselves, have no vision. They have no vision because they do not desire or feel incapable of acting upon a vision.

When the Red Hen acted on her vision, the first thing she did was to set some clear and attainable goals for her-self. She set goals of planting, harvesting, milling, and then baking. By doing so, she had mapped out the major milestones that would bring about her success. She then set up small stepping stones to help her meet each goal:
For her planting goal - plowing, watering, and weeding
For her harvesting goal - cutting and loading
For her milling goal - moving, grinding, and packaging
For her baking goal - mixing, kneading, and patience
Each of us must do the same in our journey towards success by setting some clear and attainable goals for ourselves. Then follow up by establishing a small series of stepping stones – called action plans – to reach each goal.

Each time the Red Hen started a new goal, she tried to bring her friends on board. But the barnyard animals had not caught her vision and therefore saw no value in the goals the Red Hen had set, nor the actions steps she was taking to complete to each goal. Like the Red Hen’s friends, you may have those who see no value in the goals you have set, or the actions steps you are taking to complete to each goal. Never let your friends, co-workers, or family keep you from setting and reaching reasonable goals for yourself.

The Red Hen was one diligent Hen. She worked very hard. She did not worry about failing or what the barn yard animals thought. As I think about it, the little Red Hen reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt - "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, … who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." The Red Hen stepped outside the barnyard made herself the “hen” of the arena.
Do not allow the timid souls and critics of the barnyard to infect you with their lack of enthusiasm. Instead be diligent in every step you make towards bringing about the visions for your life and career. Get out of the barnyard. Be that woman or man that is “actually in the arena.” As long as you are in the “arena” - my friend - no one can stop you.

Although this is a simple childhood fairytale that was written many years ago, it is still very relevant in the real world today. You have to have a vision for your life and career. You have to set reasonable goals and put action steps in place to meet them. And finally, you must be diligent in all you do, no matter who the timid souls and critics are around you.

The moral of the story is to not be a halfhearted barn yard animal that does not believe in visions, goals, action steps or being diligent. Instead - be like the Red Hen, get into the arena and go for your vision.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really explore coaching to increase your personal growth & development by Clicking Here or the various line of Myers-Briggs©, FIRO-B©, STRONG©, & CPI© assessments at www.realcoach.org. He also has awesome freebies on his site. Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217.

Every Ponder Giving My Friend?

By Stan Lewis







I PONDER GIVING

UPON SORROWFULL CREATURES
MY THOUGHTS DWELL.
I PONDER GIVING,
LIKE UNTO PLACING GIFTS
UPON PANTRY SHELVES.
RECEIVING ALL,
ABSENT OF MENTAL CONCEPTIONS,
INANIMATE,
FEELING NOTHING,
DESIRING LESS.
TOUCHING ONLY THAT
OUTSIDE ITS POWER.
DUST AND OTHER THINGS
BORNE UPON THE AIR.
CHARITY'S LIGHT QUICKLY DEVOURED,
ERE ITS LUMIENCE FELT.
STRADDLING POSSIBILITY
AND APATHY,
I PONDER GIVING.

Poem: by S. Bryant Lewis




Life experiences with others can be hurtful and we find it difficult to want to ever share again with anyone at all. As a Christian life and leadership coach, I have felt the same way. There is no executive, manager, leaders or team member that has not felt this way. However, each of us must move on past the hurt and learn from it. That is the purpose of this article is to help those who have be hurt to move on and be successful.

I remember working with a guy that had lost his home in a fire. He had no place else to go, and I took him into my home until he could find a place to live. We both worked for a major Department Store. I was a night manager and had closed up the store after everyone had left for the day. Right after setting the alarm and locking up, this guy sneaked back into the store. My new room mate went on a “five finger” discount spending spree. He stole everything he could get his hands on, reset the alarm, and left the store. He thought he had the same alarm code as me. And since I had locked the store and set the alarm that the authorities would look to me as the one who had burglarized the department store. What he did not know is that as a manager, my code was different from his and he was arrested for the crime.

I was hurt and felt used because I took pity on this guy homelessness. He had attempted to have me arrested for a crime I did not commit. I wondered what it was that I had done to him to make him want to do this to me. I did not want to trust anyone again. I know that many of you have been hurt in your lives by others in many different ways. But, I had to understand that not everyone in this world is out to harm me. I could have really allowed him to put me in a prison, if I had locked my self away from others. He would have won.

Today, I am happily married with two wonderful kids. I freely give my time to mentor boys and young men on how to become leaders in a Christian camping program called Royal Rangers. I also work with children in local schools and teach them leadership. I have excellent friendships with several people whom I cherish and respect. I have so much now, but I, like many of you, was at a turning point. I could give into the pain and hurt or move past it. I choose freedom. You should too.

Do not allow yourself to ponder giving to others, because of past hurts. I have opened my eyes to see both sides of giving. Because of this, I clearly see that I get back more than I can ever give to my wife, kids, those I mentor, my or my friends. So don’t let past hurts or present day hurts limit you from giving a part of what makes you unique and special. There will be those that take advantage of your generosity, but that is ok. You have no control over what anyone will do with your generosity, but you do have control of the generosity that can come forth from you in terms of giving. Like me you will see that you are getting much more back than you can ever give, if you will try to see both sides of giving.

If you are not donating your time or pouring into other people lives, I challenge you to do so. As I said, you will find that you shall get far more in return than you can ever give to someone else. So never ponder giving.



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really check out his newly revised site at http://www.realcoach.org/. If you would like a complimentary chat to talk about any issue, goal setting, or problems – Click on "Free Chat". Please take advantage of other FREEBIES by clicking here on Freebies. Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217

The In Crowd…Is It Worth Being In?

By Stan Lewis

As a Life Coach and Leadership coach, I see people struggle. The struggles that many of us will have in life are being popular and being respected, as many seek to be part of the “In Crowd”. It is how we handle that struggle that will determine what type of person we will become and how truly successful we will be in learning who we are, what our talents are, and developing those talents to be become the best we can be.

Let us speak of the struggles first. When we struggle, we tend to move only with great effort or exertion. We tussle and labor with the issue or issues before us. Sometimes we resist what we are struggling with to no avail. And often times it is what we are struggling with that ends up thrashes us about. As I said before, many times the struggles are being popular and being respected. Respect and popularity in both our business and social settings we exist in can control us and become an entity which will beat us up mentally and emotionally. Struggling alone is foolish. Help is out there, you just have to do your homework on the type of mentor or seasoned accountability partners you wish to hold you accountable for your actions. Therefore seek out responsible mentorship or life/leadership coaching to guide you in being the best you that “you” can be for yourself.

Just what is the “In Crowd”? Well it is an exclusive group of people that have similar interest or likes. They can be thought of as occupants in a glass house looking out on others. Now being exclusive is not a bad thing, but there is more to the definition. The “In Crowd” is not just a group or club with particular membership requirements which most people could meet, but one that is based on elitism. Those in any type of “In Crowd”, generally feel a sense of superiority to others.

Then there are those who feel that they are different or maybe even misfits and it is these differences in which they form their clique or group around. Again, gathering based on common interest is not necessarily bad. However, there are those cliques/groups which revolve around having a sultry or unusually reputation. It can be said, that sometimes the seedier the reputation, the better they like it. Never-the-less, it is here that they are accepted and feel that they fit in.

The need for acceptance is engrained in many of us and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted. We are very social beings for the most part. It is who or what we want to be accepted by that is the important factor. If we seek to be part of something positive, whether socially or in our business settings, our mind set will generally move towards positive attributes. There is no magic to this. If one seeks negativity, they will most certainly find it in abundance. Think about it, anything positive they encounter will be far and between, because their mind is set up to embrace only that which is destructive or damaging. Likewise, an upbeat person moving towards that which is positive will be seeking only to embrace that which is constructive or uplifting.


Being popular could be thought of as being wanted or belonging. Most everyone in the world wants to be wanted or feel a sense of belonging. Again, there is nothing wrong with this. Everyone should have a place where they belong and feel wanted. Belonging or feeling wanted is not the issue, it is what you are trying to belong to that is the issue. We need not jump on the band wagon of the first person, group or entity that comes our way and tells us that we are wanted. It is important to determine if that entity is a positive one, before you wish to be wanted by them.

Now many of you will readily apply this to pre-teens and teens, but many adults have the same issues. Unlike some adults, some pre-teens and teens will actually learn from bad experiences, discover who they are and not repeat the same mistakes again. However in the case of a lot of adults, many keep jumping on the wrong bandwagons over and over again. Adults, pre-teens and teens alike need to find out who they are first. What I mean is that these individuals are better served by finding out what their special gifts and talents are before seeking popularity or belonging to any group. When we are self-confident, we often seek out people, groups or entities that fall inline with our gifts. And many times, these same people, groups or entities will seek us out because of our talents.

When we know what makes us special, it gives us self-confidence. With that increase in self-confidence will come self-respect. Hardly anyone at all will respect someone who does not respect themselves. I have seen many people over the years do things that are disrespectfully to who and what they want to be, in exchange for being popular or belonging. All the time, those they sought to impress or win over generally see them as a joke – a fool. When you are asked to place your dignity on the line, ask yourself if you can do that and still respect yourself. If what is asked is disrespectful to you, don’t do it.

When all is said and done, it is not worth it to get into that glass house if a majority of the reasons for doing so are negative, bring about disrespect for you, or puts others down to elevate that entity. Whether it is an elite club for the well to do, social cliques, or even a gang – nothing is worth you squandering what you can be, by never finding out who “you” are. Nothing is worth you abandoning what makes you special and developing your talents to their utmost for “you”. Nothing is worth the admission price of being a joke or a fool. People, groups, or entities who would ask such destructive things of you may tell you that you are accepted and that you are popular. But when times grow difficult, you will find yourself back outside their glass house – looking in. Sadly, most of those who end up back on the outside or who never make it in, will never find out who they truly are or their true talents.

Anyone have an outlet they are not using?

By Stan Lewis
slewis@realcoach.org


To flee or submit

What I am about to say may not seem very nice, but please bear with me. How many of you know those certain people that seem to drain all of the emotional energy out of you. The type that whenever you see them, you feel the need to flee or submit to an emotional draining.
Now this is not very pleasant to speak of, because most of us do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. But the truth be told, every time they come around it is like someone looking for an unused outlet at someone's home to mooch some power from. And when they find it, they plug right in to you and seemingly, drain the emotional energy right out of you. And no matter how much they drain, it is never enough for them. Why? These people have a tendency to focus upon the negative issues and events of life. These people remind me of an old TV comedy show - Hee Haw. Each week, they would do a singing skit around a song that went something like this "Doom - despair and agony on me…deep dark depression - excessive misery… if I had no bad luck, I would have no luck at all…Doom - despair and agony on me " These people's glasses are never half-full. They are only half-empty at best and at worst three-quarters empty.

How to deal with the emotional vampire -

So how do you deal with the emotional vampire? This is a question with no easy answer, but yet the answer is clear. You use the truth. You need to speak the truth in love and kindness. I have been through this problem and you must tell the person that their negative attitude is draining you. Additionally, it is necessary to add that you want to be both helpful and encouraging, but that they need to take what you are saying to heart. That is important that they change their focus to positive things so that their attitude on life and its situations will change, as they must change.
If you are a leader or manager, you need to pull these types of people to the side and speak positively into their lives or their negative attitude will wreak total havoc upon your team or department, as well as themselves. It will not be easy, but stay with it.

The bottom-line is if they come at you with negatives; respectfully tell them to stop it. Do not give them a place to plug their negativity into you. Then take the negative they offer and turn it 180 degrees to a positive. Then toss it back to them. While change is typically good, this is one area where change is not acceptable as a friend or a leader. For a negative focused mind is closed off and unfixable until that person opens themselves up to be repaired and made whole. We have no control over the opening and closing of another mind. We can only pray for them and be there when they allow the access of positive influence upon their newly opened minds.

Are you the emotional vampire?

Most emotional vampires do not realize the draining effect they have on others. Many are hurting or have been hurt deeply and are trying to deal with it. It is that the method they are using to relieve the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment is a very poor one. They pour out their negative feelings, in an attempt to garner support, but they never let it all go. These people tend to keep a little bit of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment within them. That little bit of pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment festers and grows. When the festering mass becomes overwhelming, and it does not take long to do so, the need to dump it on someone grows also. This cycle of dumping puts a drain on friends and co-workers.
Does any of this sound familiar? Be honest, have you caught yourself up in this draining cycle of dumping the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment? However, you keep back a portion of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment to yourself. The pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment you kept back grows like a canker sore. You unload on everyone, still keeping a little of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment to grow and dump all over again. You just need to say it, heal, grow and move in another direction that's positive for your personal development.

How to regain your true self -

If this is you, I challenge you to let it all go and put your focus on God's word and the many positive things he wants for you. The animals and plants do not complain and dump on others, yet God provides them with all they need. Totally pour out the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment. Leave none of it behind. Turn your mind away from it to God's word and promises. Those words and promises are true and such a focus will change your mindset and attitude towards everything around you.
So seriously give yourself a chance by placing your focus on the positive for 90 days. Each time you are tempted to be negative, make the mental effort to mentally maintain focus on the positive. Never give in. Fight it. This the only way that you are going to develop and become who you truly are. And I am here to tell you that the true you isn't a negative minded, grumbling, and mal-content that no one wants to be around. No, you have the gifts and awesome potential to be anything you wish to become. Nothing can stop God and you. You do not need that plug-in to dump into and drain others. So drop that plug and make the necessary changes. After all my friend, the only barrier to your success in this world is - you. If you need help breaking the barriers of the status quo, please let me know. I'd love to help coach you past the barriers and be your accountability partner.