Life Coaching For Christians

What I've Learned From Fariytales - Avoiding And/Or Escaping Victim & Entitlement Mentalities

2006-08-01T09:18:00.000-05:00

Things I learned from Cinderella and a Prince.

Many people today have a victim mentality, and an entitlement mentality, or both. Throughout my life, I have encountered this time and time again. The victim and entitlement mentality mindsets are highly addictive. It affects both the person troubled with these negative mindsets and those they come into contact with.

A victim mentality can be thought of as a sick addictive cycle of perpetual misery. It happens when an individual encounters an injustice, real or perceived, done to them. Victim mentality individuals (VMI) will become angry – sad – depressed and repeat the cycle. They never take positive steps to overcome the obstacle of the injustice and find healing. VMI’s become rooted in self inflicted misery and fertilize their lack of development, by blaming anything or anyone they can point a finger at. VMI’s, at best, embrace just enough constructive material around them to sustain life. However, they never take in enough positive substance for personal growth or move on with their lives.

If they take any action at all, the action is usually of a harmful nature. The actions of VMI’s are usually to create more victims. VMI’s allow anger, rage, and hurt to build to such a point that they create a regrettable venom of envy and self-loathing, which not only poisons themselves, but others as well. Out of this poison comes a hierarchy that most VMI’s embrace – “he who steps upon others gets stepped upon the least.” A VMI will bully others both physically and emotionally.

Take a look at Cinderella’s step-sisters. Unhappy with their own physical attributes and personal talents, Cinderella’s step sisters became VMI’s. They felt victimized by Cinderella’s attributes and talents. Cinderella’s sisters felt that such attributes and talents were better suited for someone else – like them. Cinderella sisters felt it was an injustice that Cinderella should have these attributes and talents. Therefore, to rise above the injustice done to them, Cinderella’s sisters stepped all over poor Cinderella each and everyday.

Cinderella was the perfect candidate for having a victim mentality. Cinderella could have thrown a daily pity party for herself. Her step-mother did not like her, her step-sisters treated her with contempt, she was dirty and filthy, she was the family slave and she did not even have a bed to sleep in. However, Cinderella never gave into the temptation of embracing a victim mentality.

Now let’s talk about Entitlement Mentality Individuals [or EMI’s]. I learned from the Prince, that no one is entitled to anything that is not given freely to them or earned. There are many, in today’s society, that feel they are entitled to whatever they can imagine. Entitlement mentality is the perceived right somebody believes they have to do or receive something. Entitlement mentality starts out as a desire to do or receive something. There is nothing wrong with desiring something or wanting to receive something, especially if a person has worked to earn it or someone gives it freely to somebody. However, some people fixate on what they desire to do or want to the point that they believe that it is their divine right to have that desire. In effect they become an EMI. Both Cinderella step-mother and step-sisters believed that the step-sisters had the right to marry the prince. Keep in mind that they never consulted the Prince about this right, but never-the-less each were totally convinced of this “perceived right.” Nor, did it really matter what the Prince thought about the matter, because the step-sisters just knew he was the destined to marry them.

Let’s take a closer look at EMI’s. An EMI, when invited to dinner, have a tendency to run to the head of the table and are often embarrassed when they are re-seated near the end of the table. EMI’s are not satisfied with just being invited to sit at the table. Such was the case when the Prince came to find the owner of the slipper - Cinderella. Cinderella’s step-mother and sisters ran to the head of the line, but they did not fit the slipper. They where not what the good Prince was looking for and he knew it, even as both step-sisters tried on the slipper. Reality finally hit the step-mother and the step-sisters as Cinderella was brought forward. At that point, Cinderella’s step-sisters found themselves, so to speak, re-seated to the rear of the table. Cinderella was the right fit for the Prince. Despite her rags and untidy appearance, the Prince knew she was the right one, even as Cinderella put on the slipper.

VMI’s often have entitlement mentalities and vice versa. It is like a dog chasing its tail. It is a vicious circle of dizzy motion and frustration which takes the victim nowhere. The VMI’s simply grows tired and rarely catches their entitlement tail. And when they do catch their entitlement tail, the VMI’s do not know what to do with it. Soon the victim lets go of the entitlement tail and the warped chase begins again.

No one should give into having a Victim’s Mentality. Each person has wonderful gifts and unique talents that will take them places that they would have never imagined, if only they would just apply them. Yes bad things may have occurred in a person’s life, but that is ok. Bad things happen and guess what, bad things will happen again in everyone’s life. But instead of being a victim, people need to learn to use difficult circumstances as a motivation to grow. A victim feels entitled to things they have not earned or freely received from another. A non-victim will overcome. As an over comer, a non-victim will simply earn what they are entitled to and with that, comes a sense of accomplishment that motivates one to achieve even more. Do not be a victim in chase of your entitlement tail. It is frivolous and makes the person look just plain ridiculous. Instead focus on becoming an over comer and go hard after your dreams - instead of going after your tail!

Are you capable of seeing 20 / 20 inside and out?

2006-06-10T16:33:00.000-05:00

As a Christian Life and Career coach, I have noted that most people have better outward vision than inner vision. That is, they act as if they can see others qualities better than they can see the qualities of themselves. Everyone of us where wonderfully and fearfully made by God, but so few of us take the time to obtain a 20 / 20 look inside ourselves in order to find out exactly what type of amazing creation we are. The purpose of this article is to get you thinking and acting on ways to see the qualities of your inner self first and others second, so that you can promote your personal growth and development.

If I asked most people what their individual gifts, talents, or capabilities are, very few would be able to quickly respond and give me an answer. Most have to really think about it and then answer. And even then, they are not 100 percent sure that they are right. Isn’t it kind of weird that people are not sure about themselves and can only give their best guess about their God given talents? Now if I ask them to tell me the faults or even good points about their boss or a co-worker, most can do so very quickly. Weird or not, it is reality that people are more observant about others than themselves.

More often than not, even though we think we can see 20 / 20 into others and know their faults and strengths, we are wrong. We are often mistaken, because we do not understand the complexities within our own lives – much less understanding the complexities in someone else’s life. Before we can do understand others, we need to have a 20 / 20 look into ourselves to understand who we are, what our talents are, and what we want to do with our talent in our lives and careers.
Understanding who and what you are will help you to understand that not only are you a unique and special person, but so is everyone else. One of the best ways to see this is to take one of the Myers-Briggs® assessments. “…For more than 50 years, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) instrument has been the world's most trusted and widely used assessment for understanding individual differences and discovering new ways to work and interact with others…” The results of this tool will point out an individual's strengths and unique gifts, while also pointing out vulnerabilities and areas for personal development. Within groups, the MBTI is helpful to help recognize and value differences among individuals, so that strengths can be combined and some interpersonal difficulties may be more easily overcome.
In addition to the MBTI®, there is also the FIRO-B® (Fundamental
Interpersonal Relations Orientation–Behavior), Strong® (Strong Interest Survey), and CPI® (California Psychological Inventory) assessment tools which can be used to better understand yourself and others. The FIRO-B, a widely used tool, can help anyone not only understand their own behavior, but the behavior of others around them. And as such, the FIRO-B is an invaluable tool not only for discovering who you are, but for team building, management training, or communication workshops.

The Strong® helps individuals discover their personal interests and chart a plan of action regarding their individual careers. The Strong® presents a clear picture of not only your special interest, but your learning, leadership, and risk-taking styles in relation to the various jobs, work settings, and career fields in today’s world. The Strong Inventory® has special assessments for adults, college students and even high school students. People need to know that, from a young high school student to late adulthood, it is never too early or too late to discover your personal interest and set yourself upon a path that will lead to your ultimate success in life.

The CPI 260™ assessment opens a new dimension into people's strengths and opportunities for personal growth and development, offering an exciting picture of the person as seen through the eyes of others. There are two remarkable CPI assessment reports: The Feedback Report and The Coaching Report For Leaders. The Feedback Report covers five areas: Dealing with Others, Self-Management, Motivations and Thinking Style, Personal Characteristics, and Work-Related Measures. While the Coaching Report For Leaders covers the following five areas: Self-Management, Team Building and Teamwork, Organizational Capabilities, Problem Solving, and Sustaining Your Personal Vision (and the vision of the work place). This is powerful information that can shape what you can do to grow and develop yourself.

So are you ready to see 20 / 20 inside yourself and outside of yourself? Are you ready to act and find out just who you are? Once you know better who you are, you will open yourself up to an assortment of positive things that will promote your personal growth and development. As I said before, the better you can see the qualities of who you are will indicate how well you can see the qualities of others. Being able to see 20 / 20 inside and out will help move you towards ultimate success in all aspects of your life. There is nothing holding you back except you so don’t bury or hide away your individual talents. Improve upon your talents by obtaining a 20 / 20 inner and outer vision now for brighter expectations for your life tomorrow.

If you would like more information, you can go to www.realcoach.org – where you can not only obtain information, but full sample copies (many in color) of various different assessments. Here’s to your ultimate success.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really explore coaching to increase your personal growth & development by Clicking Here or the various line of Myers-Briggs©, FIRO-B©, STRONG©, & CPI© assessments at www.realcoach.org. He also has awesome newsletter – to subscribe email him at timetoexplore@aweber.com Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217.

Practical Things I've Learned From Fairytales – Goal Setting

2006-06-10T16:31:00.000-05:00

As a Christian Life and Leadership Coach, I attempt to coach others about success. I point out that success comes through vision, goals, action steps, and diligence. Some feel entitled to have success, but no matter how “entitled” one feels, success rarely comes to those without vision, goals, action steps and diligence. Now all of these seem like very adult oriented topics, but I learned all about them as a child, when I read the story of the Little Red Hen.

The Red Hen found some wheat seeds and from that she had a vision. The Red Hen could have stopped right there with the finding of the seeds, but she was positive minded. She saw what those seeds could become – a loaf of bread. Without a vision, we do not know where we are going and with out a vision, we do not know when we have arrived at success. Her vision gave her the starting point for her journey to success.

The Red Hen tried to share her vision with the other barnyard animals and motivate them to in share her vision. The other animals made their feelings clear to the Red Hen. They neither cared nor had the time for her vision. They sought to be a negative and visionless influence upon her. This happens many times in life. How many times have you had a good ideal, only to have it dashed by the opinions of other people? Many times these are our friends, associates, or fellow employees who, themselves, have no vision. They have no vision because they do not desire or feel incapable of acting upon a vision.

When the Red Hen acted on her vision, the first thing she did was to set some clear and attainable goals for her-self. She set goals of planting, harvesting, milling, and then baking. By doing so, she had mapped out the major milestones that would bring about her success. She then set up small stepping stones to help her meet each goal:
For her planting goal - plowing, watering, and weeding
For her harvesting goal - cutting and loading
For her milling goal - moving, grinding, and packaging
For her baking goal - mixing, kneading, and patience
Each of us must do the same in our journey towards success by setting some clear and attainable goals for ourselves. Then follow up by establishing a small series of stepping stones – called action plans – to reach each goal.

Each time the Red Hen started a new goal, she tried to bring her friends on board. But the barnyard animals had not caught her vision and therefore saw no value in the goals the Red Hen had set, nor the actions steps she was taking to complete to each goal. Like the Red Hen’s friends, you may have those who see no value in the goals you have set, or the actions steps you are taking to complete to each goal. Never let your friends, co-workers, or family keep you from setting and reaching reasonable goals for yourself.

The Red Hen was one diligent Hen. She worked very hard. She did not worry about failing or what the barn yard animals thought. As I think about it, the little Red Hen reminds me of a quote from Teddy Roosevelt - "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, … who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." The Red Hen stepped outside the barnyard made herself the “hen” of the arena.
Do not allow the timid souls and critics of the barnyard to infect you with their lack of enthusiasm. Instead be diligent in every step you make towards bringing about the visions for your life and career. Get out of the barnyard. Be that woman or man that is “actually in the arena.” As long as you are in the “arena” - my friend - no one can stop you.

Although this is a simple childhood fairytale that was written many years ago, it is still very relevant in the real world today. You have to have a vision for your life and career. You have to set reasonable goals and put action steps in place to meet them. And finally, you must be diligent in all you do, no matter who the timid souls and critics are around you.

The moral of the story is to not be a halfhearted barn yard animal that does not believe in visions, goals, action steps or being diligent. Instead - be like the Red Hen, get into the arena and go for your vision.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really explore coaching to increase your personal growth & development by Clicking Here or the various line of Myers-Briggs©, FIRO-B©, STRONG©, & CPI© assessments at www.realcoach.org. He also has awesome freebies on his site. Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217.

Every Ponder Giving My Friend?

2006-04-29T22:28:00.000-05:00

By Stan Lewis

I PONDER GIVING

UPON SORROWFULL CREATURES
MY THOUGHTS DWELL.
I PONDER GIVING,
LIKE UNTO PLACING GIFTS
UPON PANTRY SHELVES.
RECEIVING ALL,
ABSENT OF MENTAL CONCEPTIONS,
INANIMATE,
FEELING NOTHING,
DESIRING LESS.
TOUCHING ONLY THAT
OUTSIDE ITS POWER.
DUST AND OTHER THINGS
BORNE UPON THE AIR.
CHARITY'S LIGHT QUICKLY DEVOURED,
ERE ITS LUMIENCE FELT.
STRADDLING POSSIBILITY
AND APATHY,
I PONDER GIVING.

Poem: by S. Bryant Lewis

Life experiences with others can be hurtful and we find it difficult to want to ever share again with anyone at all. As a Christian life and leadership coach, I have felt the same way. There is no executive, manager, leaders or team member that has not felt this way. However, each of us must move on past the hurt and learn from it. That is the purpose of this article is to help those who have be hurt to move on and be successful.

I remember working with a guy that had lost his home in a fire. He had no place else to go, and I took him into my home until he could find a place to live. We both worked for a major Department Store. I was a night manager and had closed up the store after everyone had left for the day. Right after setting the alarm and locking up, this guy sneaked back into the store. My new room mate went on a “five finger” discount spending spree. He stole everything he could get his hands on, reset the alarm, and left the store. He thought he had the same alarm code as me. And since I had locked the store and set the alarm that the authorities would look to me as the one who had burglarized the department store. What he did not know is that as a manager, my code was different from his and he was arrested for the crime.

I was hurt and felt used because I took pity on this guy homelessness. He had attempted to have me arrested for a crime I did not commit. I wondered what it was that I had done to him to make him want to do this to me. I did not want to trust anyone again. I know that many of you have been hurt in your lives by others in many different ways. But, I had to understand that not everyone in this world is out to harm me. I could have really allowed him to put me in a prison, if I had locked my self away from others. He would have won.

Today, I am happily married with two wonderful kids. I freely give my time to mentor boys and young men on how to become leaders in a Christian camping program called Royal Rangers. I also work with children in local schools and teach them leadership. I have excellent friendships with several people whom I cherish and respect. I have so much now, but I, like many of you, was at a turning point. I could give into the pain and hurt or move past it. I choose freedom. You should too.

Do not allow yourself to ponder giving to others, because of past hurts. I have opened my eyes to see both sides of giving. Because of this, I clearly see that I get back more than I can ever give to my wife, kids, those I mentor, my or my friends. So don’t let past hurts or present day hurts limit you from giving a part of what makes you unique and special. There will be those that take advantage of your generosity, but that is ok. You have no control over what anyone will do with your generosity, but you do have control of the generosity that can come forth from you in terms of giving. Like me you will see that you are getting much more back than you can ever give, if you will try to see both sides of giving.

If you are not donating your time or pouring into other people lives, I challenge you to do so. As I said, you will find that you shall get far more in return than you can ever give to someone else. So never ponder giving.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really check out his newly revised site at http://www.realcoach.org/. If you would like a complimentary chat to talk about any issue, goal setting, or problems – Click on "Free Chat". Please take advantage of other FREEBIES by clicking here on Freebies. Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217

The In Crowd…Is It Worth Being In?

2006-03-08T10:33:00.000-06:00

By Stan Lewis

As a Life Coach and Leadership coach, I see people struggle. The struggles that many of us will have in life are being popular and being respected, as many seek to be part of the “In Crowd”. It is how we handle that struggle that will determine what type of person we will become and how truly successful we will be in learning who we are, what our talents are, and developing those talents to be become the best we can be.

Let us speak of the struggles first. When we struggle, we tend to move only with great effort or exertion. We tussle and labor with the issue or issues before us. Sometimes we resist what we are struggling with to no avail. And often times it is what we are struggling with that ends up thrashes us about. As I said before, many times the struggles are being popular and being respected. Respect and popularity in both our business and social settings we exist in can control us and become an entity which will beat us up mentally and emotionally. Struggling alone is foolish. Help is out there, you just have to do your homework on the type of mentor or seasoned accountability partners you wish to hold you accountable for your actions. Therefore seek out responsible mentorship or life/leadership coaching to guide you in being the best you that “you” can be for yourself.

Just what is the “In Crowd”? Well it is an exclusive group of people that have similar interest or likes. They can be thought of as occupants in a glass house looking out on others. Now being exclusive is not a bad thing, but there is more to the definition. The “In Crowd” is not just a group or club with particular membership requirements which most people could meet, but one that is based on elitism. Those in any type of “In Crowd”, generally feel a sense of superiority to others.

Then there are those who feel that they are different or maybe even misfits and it is these differences in which they form their clique or group around. Again, gathering based on common interest is not necessarily bad. However, there are those cliques/groups which revolve around having a sultry or unusually reputation. It can be said, that sometimes the seedier the reputation, the better they like it. Never-the-less, it is here that they are accepted and feel that they fit in.

The need for acceptance is engrained in many of us and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted. We are very social beings for the most part. It is who or what we want to be accepted by that is the important factor. If we seek to be part of something positive, whether socially or in our business settings, our mind set will generally move towards positive attributes. There is no magic to this. If one seeks negativity, they will most certainly find it in abundance. Think about it, anything positive they encounter will be far and between, because their mind is set up to embrace only that which is destructive or damaging. Likewise, an upbeat person moving towards that which is positive will be seeking only to embrace that which is constructive or uplifting.

Being popular could be thought of as being wanted or belonging. Most everyone in the world wants to be wanted or feel a sense of belonging. Again, there is nothing wrong with this. Everyone should have a place where they belong and feel wanted. Belonging or feeling wanted is not the issue, it is what you are trying to belong to that is the issue. We need not jump on the band wagon of the first person, group or entity that comes our way and tells us that we are wanted. It is important to determine if that entity is a positive one, before you wish to be wanted by them.

Now many of you will readily apply this to pre-teens and teens, but many adults have the same issues. Unlike some adults, some pre-teens and teens will actually learn from bad experiences, discover who they are and not repeat the same mistakes again. However in the case of a lot of adults, many keep jumping on the wrong bandwagons over and over again. Adults, pre-teens and teens alike need to find out who they are first. What I mean is that these individuals are better served by finding out what their special gifts and talents are before seeking popularity or belonging to any group. When we are self-confident, we often seek out people, groups or entities that fall inline with our gifts. And many times, these same people, groups or entities will seek us out because of our talents.

When we know what makes us special, it gives us self-confidence. With that increase in self-confidence will come self-respect. Hardly anyone at all will respect someone who does not respect themselves. I have seen many people over the years do things that are disrespectfully to who and what they want to be, in exchange for being popular or belonging. All the time, those they sought to impress or win over generally see them as a joke – a fool. When you are asked to place your dignity on the line, ask yourself if you can do that and still respect yourself. If what is asked is disrespectful to you, don’t do it.

When all is said and done, it is not worth it to get into that glass house if a majority of the reasons for doing so are negative, bring about disrespect for you, or puts others down to elevate that entity. Whether it is an elite club for the well to do, social cliques, or even a gang – nothing is worth you squandering what you can be, by never finding out who “you” are. Nothing is worth you abandoning what makes you special and developing your talents to their utmost for “you”. Nothing is worth the admission price of being a joke or a fool. People, groups, or entities who would ask such destructive things of you may tell you that you are accepted and that you are popular. But when times grow difficult, you will find yourself back outside their glass house – looking in. Sadly, most of those who end up back on the outside or who never make it in, will never find out who they truly are or their true talents.

Anyone have an outlet they are not using?

2006-02-07T18:19:00.000-06:00

By Stan Lewis
slewis@realcoach.org

To flee or submit

What I am about to say may not seem very nice, but please bear with me. How many of you know those certain people that seem to drain all of the emotional energy out of you. The type that whenever you see them, you feel the need to flee or submit to an emotional draining.
Now this is not very pleasant to speak of, because most of us do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. But the truth be told, every time they come around it is like someone looking for an unused outlet at someone's home to mooch some power from. And when they find it, they plug right in to you and seemingly, drain the emotional energy right out of you. And no matter how much they drain, it is never enough for them. Why? These people have a tendency to focus upon the negative issues and events of life. These people remind me of an old TV comedy show - Hee Haw. Each week, they would do a singing skit around a song that went something like this "Doom - despair and agony on me…deep dark depression - excessive misery… if I had no bad luck, I would have no luck at all…Doom - despair and agony on me " These people's glasses are never half-full. They are only half-empty at best and at worst three-quarters empty.

How to deal with the emotional vampire -

So how do you deal with the emotional vampire? This is a question with no easy answer, but yet the answer is clear. You use the truth. You need to speak the truth in love and kindness. I have been through this problem and you must tell the person that their negative attitude is draining you. Additionally, it is necessary to add that you want to be both helpful and encouraging, but that they need to take what you are saying to heart. That is important that they change their focus to positive things so that their attitude on life and its situations will change, as they must change.
If you are a leader or manager, you need to pull these types of people to the side and speak positively into their lives or their negative attitude will wreak total havoc upon your team or department, as well as themselves. It will not be easy, but stay with it.

The bottom-line is if they come at you with negatives; respectfully tell them to stop it. Do not give them a place to plug their negativity into you. Then take the negative they offer and turn it 180 degrees to a positive. Then toss it back to them. While change is typically good, this is one area where change is not acceptable as a friend or a leader. For a negative focused mind is closed off and unfixable until that person opens themselves up to be repaired and made whole. We have no control over the opening and closing of another mind. We can only pray for them and be there when they allow the access of positive influence upon their newly opened minds.

Are you the emotional vampire?

Most emotional vampires do not realize the draining effect they have on others. Many are hurting or have been hurt deeply and are trying to deal with it. It is that the method they are using to relieve the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment is a very poor one. They pour out their negative feelings, in an attempt to garner support, but they never let it all go. These people tend to keep a little bit of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment within them. That little bit of pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment festers and grows. When the festering mass becomes overwhelming, and it does not take long to do so, the need to dump it on someone grows also. This cycle of dumping puts a drain on friends and co-workers.
Does any of this sound familiar? Be honest, have you caught yourself up in this draining cycle of dumping the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment? However, you keep back a portion of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment to yourself. The pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment you kept back grows like a canker sore. You unload on everyone, still keeping a little of the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment to grow and dump all over again. You just need to say it, heal, grow and move in another direction that's positive for your personal development.

How to regain your true self -

If this is you, I challenge you to let it all go and put your focus on God's word and the many positive things he wants for you. The animals and plants do not complain and dump on others, yet God provides them with all they need. Totally pour out the pain, hurt, anger, and / or disappointment. Leave none of it behind. Turn your mind away from it to God's word and promises. Those words and promises are true and such a focus will change your mindset and attitude towards everything around you.
So seriously give yourself a chance by placing your focus on the positive for 90 days. Each time you are tempted to be negative, make the mental effort to mentally maintain focus on the positive. Never give in. Fight it. This the only way that you are going to develop and become who you truly are. And I am here to tell you that the true you isn't a negative minded, grumbling, and mal-content that no one wants to be around. No, you have the gifts and awesome potential to be anything you wish to become. Nothing can stop God and you. You do not need that plug-in to dump into and drain others. So drop that plug and make the necessary changes. After all my friend, the only barrier to your success in this world is - you. If you need help breaking the barriers of the status quo, please let me know. I'd love to help coach you past the barriers and be your accountability partner.

Just Who Are You Listening To?

2006-01-24T00:19:00.000-06:00

MANY VOICES

IN THE MEADOW STANDS A COLUMN
OF PRISTINE MARBLE WHITE
AND MANY TIMES
IT FINDS ITSELF
AMONG VERBAL STRIFE.

ABOUT THIS COLUMN,
ARE VOICES,
MANY VOICES,
LIKE RAGING WINDS.
THEY BLOW AIMLESSLY,
SOMETIMES BLAMELESSLY,
AROUND AND THROUGH.

SOME WOULD RATHER
IT BE A FOOT PATH
SUNKEN FLAT INTO THE GROUND,
NOT OUT OF MEANNESS,
MIND YOU,
BUT RATHER A LACK
OF CREATIVE THOUGHT.

THUS PROVIDING A SMOOTH PLACE
FOR OTHERS TO TARRY UPON.
TO FALSELY PROTECT A YOUNG CHARGE
REASONING THERE WOULD BE
NO SUBSTANCELESS THUNDER
TO SHUDDER OVER.
THERE WOULD BE NO ORAL WIND.

I RATHER SEE IT STANDING TALL IN TRUTH.
I RATHER IT SIMPLY BE WHAT IT IS.
FOR ITS MAKER GAVE IT LOVE ABOUND
AND ENDLESS SUBSTANCE WITHIN.

THE MAKER KNOWS
BUT DO YOU SEE
THAT THE VOICES,
THE MANY VOICES
ARE SIMPLY...,
ILLUSIONARY WIND.

By Stan Lewis

Just like the after the storms in nature, God has placed 'rainbows' - a sign of his faithfulness - at the end of every storm in our lives.

Are you going through personal storms in the areas of your spiritual and personal life?

Many of life's storms are not as bad as they seem. You can overcome the illusionary winds of multiple problems and circumstances. These winds need not hold you back from the awesome promises God's has for you.

Have no doubt that God is on your side. God wants you to find his promise for you. In the midst of the storms and illusionary winds, God is right there with you. God has not left you and he never will. Just call out to God in faith and he will help you find your rainbow. That rainbow is God’s promise for you.

Knowing that God is there for you, isn't it time you stepped out of your comfort zone and experience the spiritual & personal growth that both you and God desire for your life?

You want what is best for you and God want’s you to have what is best for you.

So, isn't it time you got R.E.A.L. about knowing what you want to accomplish, setting goals to get there, & completing the goals you have set for yourself?

Empowering Relationships

2006-01-24T00:15:00.000-06:00

by Omaudi Reid

Humankind is a relational being. We were created to relate to God and to others. Relationships can and should be deeply enhance our way of living.. Children's relationship with parents brings nurture and growth. Siblings can be a tremendous support for each other throughout life. And married couples can be great partners through the journey of life. We all need relationships that empower our lives. In this article, we will talk about the relationships that are crucial to our spiritual lives, that bring spiritual growth.

It goes without saying that a vital relationship with Christ is the number one priority in our Christian life. In His image we are being transformed daily through the work of the Holy Spirit. By his power we are delivered daily from the sins and evils that would hinder us from being effective children of God. And in that Christ suffered temptations and overcame, He is able to help us in our temptations. He identifies with our weaknesses and sorrows, and is well able to stand with us through any difficulty. So we can boldly come to him in prayer.
However any true relationship with God will overflow into relationships with others. Or to put it another way, the Spirit of God moves us to build relationships with others in the body of Christ. And through these relationships God appoints means of edification.

The most basic of these relationships are formed in fellowship with other believers. Unlike commonly thought and practiced by many, fellowship is more than just going to church, or being a church member. Truly, it means to be an active, interacting member in the church body. Thus, to be empowered in fellowship, we must be a part of a community of Christians that actively practices the "one-another" scriptures.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

In the above scripture believers are encouraged to assemble themselves together. But to stop at that is to miss the point of the assembling. Verse twenty-four tells us to "consider one another", and verse 25 says to "exhort one another". Fellowship involves mutual encouragement, edification and ministering one to another. We ought to be actively engaged in encouraging, and receiving encouragement from our brother and sisters in Christ.
Within fellowships, God often opens the door to ministry partnerships. This is when God brings together different forms of ministry gifts to mutually empower and equip each other. For example, when Saul, the first king of Israel, was anointed to be king, he met a company of prophets; upon meeting them, the Spirit of prophecy came upon him, and he began to prophesy. By being in company with the prophetic gift, God imparted the same manifestation in the life of Saul. (I Samuel 10:5-10)

The body of Christ is diverse, with different gifts. When we partner together, and use our gifts to encourage each other, we are empowered to do greater things for the kingdom of God. And spiritual gifts are added to our lives. (Romans 1:11-12) Ephesians 4:11-12 lists the equipping ministries in the body of Christ: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. They equip the body to do the work of the ministry. Romans 12:4-8 lists ministry gifts that the Holy Spirit gives to believers to use to advance the work of the ministry. I Corinthians 12:4-11 lists the charismatic gifts, which the Holy Spirit gives as He will for the benefit of the body of Christ. No member is greater than another member of the body of Christ because of their gifts. Rather, God gives them for us to edify each other in love.

Instead of avoiding each other due to different gifts of the Spirit, we ought to work together for the building up of the body of Christ.

Beyond fellowship and ministry partnerships, God may allow us to have friendship with others. Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and David were close friends. As a sign of their friendship, Jonathan gave David his own robe, and royal garments, including his sword. By clothing David with his own royal garments, he was in effect showing that David was like a brother to him. Only those of royal blood should be allowed to wear a prince's garments; Jonathan was saying, David you're like a brother to me, you should be wearing royal garment. (I Samuel 18:1-4) True friends care for each other like brothers.

I Samuel 18:1 .. the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

A true friend will stick by you through all the circumstances of life.(Proverbs 17:17 He or she will faithfully and lovingly confront you when you are wrong. (Proverbs 27:6) Good friends bring cheer to the heart; they help you maintain an optimistic and encouraging perspective. (Proverbs 27:9)

Iron sharpens iron. No two people are exactly alike; thus, friends can strengthen you in your areas of weakness, while you strengthen them in their weaknesses. Two good friends who are focused on fulfilling God's will, can help keep each other focused on their destiny in life.
To make good friends, one must be friendly.(Proverbs 18:24) And, we should carefully choose who we allow to be close to us.

So far we mainly have been exploring linear relationships between people. God also wants us to have leaders over us and be leaders to others. To grow in Christ, and understand the calling of God, God will place spiritual parents in the life of believers. Spiritual parents are those who take up the responsibility to disciple a believer in the faith, or to mentor them in their spiritual growth and calling. This may be an older believer leading a new believer into a mature relationship with Christ. It may be a pastor or some other kind of church leader.

The spiritual parent does some or all of the following: disciples a new believer until they become mature in the faith (Galatians 4:19, I Corinthians 4:15); unleashes another believers potential and spiritual gifts through a mentoring relationship (II Timothy 1:1-6); they will warn you of danger (I Corinthians 4:14); they will patiently work with you to maturity (Galatians 4:19).
Using the term "spiritual parent" is a means of showing the kind of nurturing relationship the believer and that mentor has. (I Thessalonians 2:1-10) It does not mean that the spiritual parent has any kind of ownership over another believer. At different periods of a believer’s life, they may have this kind of relationship with a different spiritual leader. As a new believer, a spiritual parent would be a discipler. Later in a believer’s life, a spiritual parent may lead in giving birth to a new ministry, or provide crucial guidance in a spiritual challenge.
Within this relationship, having a spiritual parent as a discipler is very important. Every believer should have a period where a more mature believer disciples them in the fundamentals of their relationship with Christ. If you are a new believer, seek a mature believer in your church to mentor you in your new found faith. Believers who understand and have experienced the rudiments of the Christian faith should seek to disciple new believers in the faith. All believers are called to disciple others. (Matthew 28:19-20)

God provides other vertical relationships in our lives that may not be as involved like the spiritual parent relationship. God may place these instructors in our lives at different periods. They include counselors who counsel for specific situations; someone who gives a word of advice; a teacher who instructs us; or a stranger who gives us a word that affects our lives. God brings people like this in our lives, but we often don't recognize their significance. God may allow you to bring instructions to the lives of others. Take the time to share with other the things you have learned. (Titus 2:2-7, 2 Timothy 2:2)

All relationships are mutual. We must recognize the role God has given us in a relationship; you may be there to receive, or to give. We really should always be giving and receiving. Giving encouragement in fellowship, and receiving encouragement; being empowered by another's ministry, and empowering others with your gifts; leading others to maturity in Christ, and following the spiritual leadership of another; receiving insights from others around you, and giving insights to change someone's life. Strong and healthy relationships helps us to overcome temptation, and conquer trials.

..............About the Author..............
Omaudi Reid is the owner of HarvestersOnline, and author of Creating Unbreakable Bonds. Passionate for God, he has been preaching and teaching for several years. He is happily married to Guerline Reid with three children. Find out more about him here.

Ethics And Competence - Pt. 3 There Is Nothing New Under The Sun – Are you a benchwarmer?

2005-12-03T16:59:00.000-06:00

With God’s help, and hard work – you can become a “go to” person!

Summary of Article: The purpose of this article is to have people grow in Christ and develop the gifts God gave them. To work at their jobs like they where working directly for Christ. To encourage them to be "go to" people where they are now and let God worry about where & what the future holds. God only wants people to prepare themselves spiritually and personally right where they are. In doing so to accomplish their best where they are right now, so that he can give the best to them later. Just like Joseph.

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Are you ready to take out the trash?

2005-11-23T11:03:00.000-06:00

Taking out the trash is a chore that we do not look forward to. We do it on a regular basis to get rid of the garbage and junk in our home. We take the trash to the front curb or the rear alley way to be picked up and carried away – never to be thought of again.
Most of us wouldn’t even think of allowing a bunch of smelly garbage and junk to build up in their home. However, many of us allow all sorts of garbage and junk to build up inside of us – and often times we never take this type of trash out at all.
The garbage and junk we allow to build up with in us can be broken down into two negative emotional categories. The emotions we feel when we wrong someone and the emotions we feel when we are wronged. When we feel we are wronged, we may withdraw and/ or hide our rage away from everyone – even those close to us. Or, we may lash out in unrestrained rage against those we perceived to have wronged us. Often times when we lash out in this manner, we have allowed anger to rise above the need to look at a situation, objectively, from all view points. Whether we withdraw or lash out, we never reach the point where we feel that the wrong done to us has been resolved to our satisfaction.
When we wrong others, we still either withdraw and / or hide our emotions of guilt from everyone – even those who are close to us and sometimes we withdraw or hide from ourselves. Hereto we sometimes, lash out in a raging fury at those we perceive are making much to do about nothing, regarding something we did or failed to do. Again, whether we withdraw or lash out, we often never reach the point where we feel we have satisfactorily resolved or dealt with our feelings of guilt.
The reason our emotions, whether they arise from a perceived wrong or from guilt, are never satisfactorily resolved is that we do not do a very good job of releasing wrongs or guilt. In other words, we are not taking out our negative emotional trash of obstinate rage and persistent guilt like we should.
It is important that you understand that our emotions are simply pleasure or pain that we feel on the inside, which moves us towards a certain direction in life. We need to confess and release the negative emotions that come from both perceived wrongs and guilt. Now why is this necessary? Well, these negative emotions that arise from both perceived wrongs and guilt which are never confessed or expressed. These negative emotions are garbage and junk that will move us in the direction of back roads, which will bring us to a destination of pain and hurt.
Isaiah 53:4 explains that, “…The chastisement for our peace was upon Him (Christ)…” Chastisement is defined as punishing somebody. Peace is defined as the freedom from oppressive emotions. In other words Christ took punishment upon himself so that we could have freedom from negative and oppressive emotions like unchecked rage and unyielding remorse. God never meant for us to hold on such harsh emotions.
Jesus wants us to confess our hurts and wrongs. In other words, Christ as our personal high priest wants us to take the garbage out and leave it on the curb for him to take away. Hebrews 4:14 says, “14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.” In other words, we need to get the trash out of us by admitting what is wrong in us and letting it go. We need to create a Hebrews 4:16 mindset, where we “…come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” We need to accept the freely given mercy and grace by a loving God who is firmly on his throne. Then release our anger or guilt by talking or praying with a Christian accountability partner, whom we have developed a relation with. We need to give mercy and grace to those who have wronged us.
Similarly, we also need to release our guilt by admitting it and praying with a Christian accountability partner you feel you can trust. Once again, we need to freely receive mercy and grace into our lives.
Whether it is a perceived wrong or personal guilt, we can use the experience we have gained, as a result, for positive personal growth and development in our lives. So take out the garbage that is inside of you. Leave the trash of wild anger and endless guilt on the curb to be hauled away. Once you remove this trash from inside of you, you will find that you have more room for personal growth and development in your life. What is your next step my friend? Are you ready to take out the trash (in your life) now?

He wouldn't let go........ and he never will

2005-10-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share this message with you. I got it by e-mail from a dear friend. It is so awsome, I had to share it!! Coach Stan:

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we sometimes forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Please pass this on to those you love. God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through.

Never judge other persons scars, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is soooo important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding them to someone else.

Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them and won't let go - is that you my friend? He loves you enough that no matter what the alligator is in your home, work place, etc. - he won't let go of you.

Isn't it time you stepped out of that "not so" comfortable zone your in and become all that God wants you to be. Remember, God won't let go of you - never.

The Price of Children

2005-10-20T09:44:00.000-05:00

I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I haveseen the rewards listed this way. It's nice, reallynice!!
The government recently calculated the cost of raisinga child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 fora middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touchcollege tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if youbreak it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, 741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is; don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. So what do you get for your $160,140? Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day. Giggles.... under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warmcookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly orchocolate. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, buildingsand castles, andskipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day. For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to fingerprint, carve pumpkins, play house,catch lightningbugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disneymovies, and wishingon stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day. For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter,filling a wading pool,coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel. You get to be immortal.You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, along list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patcha broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you,love withoutcounting the cost.

ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN AND GRAND CHILDREN! "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away"

Announcing A New Leadership Resource

2005-09-24T22:36:00.000-05:00

Introduction

This course is designed to allow you the opportunity to discover your unique gifts and recognize “how you handle your gifts and leadership opportunities”. This course has been separated into 14 chapters (for each letter in COURAGE vs COWARDS), this course steps you through topics designed to encourage and challenge you towards your Christian leadership goals. You will also have the opportunity to complete action items that are included in each chapter.
Why is it beneficial to take the time to study the differences between “Cowards and Courage”? One purpose is to reveal how easy it is, through multiple circumstances and events, to stray off the pathway of effective leadership. Many are missing out on the accomplishments and successes of reaching goals by practicing leadership habits that are closer to those of
C.O.W.A.R.D.S.
The second purpose is to show that people can withstand the tests in life they will encounter, and to show how a person can get onto the path of effective leadership which they have envisioned for themselves.

See the side bar and order your copy today

See My Article In The Christian Magazine "INFUSE"

2005-09-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

Magazine Web Site:

http://infuse.cgi.org/

Article URL:

http://infuse.cgi.org/05fall/19.cfm

Ethics & Competence - There is nothing new under the sun. Pt. 2 - When playing “follow the leader” - follow the rules.

2005-09-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

Click Here To Down Load MP3

Ethics And Competence - There is nothing new under the sun.

2005-09-01T18:05:00.000-05:00

Ethics And Competence - There is nothing new under the sun.
Pt. 1 - Growing where planted.

I want to show you that there is nothing new under the sun, as far as, not being where you want to be in life, dealing with unethical practices in the work place, and the injustices that come about as a result of such things. More than anything, I want to leave you with a sound foundation of hope that you can grow personally, improve upon your unique gifts, and become very competent despite where you are now in life.

(Click the play button to listen in streaming audio by the author!)

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So, Exactly Where Is "There" For You?

2005-08-14T23:17:00.000-05:00

To get where you want to go or to do what you wish to do, you have to first know what there is for you. You have to be able to see it in your mind and have the passion to get there.

(Click the play button to listen in streaming audio by the author!)

What Type Of Leader Are You Now & What Type Of Leader Will You Be Tomorrow Depends On Where You Stand.

2005-08-14T21:34:00.000-05:00

Where you go and how far you will go depends on your vantage point. What I mean by that is that where you stand in life determines what you see around you. And what you see around you determines your reality.

(Click the play button to listen in streaming audio by the author!)

Having A Psalms 23 Mentality - A Table Of Victory In Unexpected Places

2005-08-11T14:49:00.000-05:00

A Table Of Victory In Unexpected Places

There are many times in our lives that we find ourselves in trouble times. We actively seek out an answer to the situations we find ourselves in. We want that answer(s) to be big, bold, and clearly presented before our eyes on our terms. But the answers that Jesus presents are sometimes given in a whisper, subtly, and unexpectedly by a stranger who is there one moment and gone the next. We must keep ourselves open and listen for the whispers as well as the bold thunder. There will be those persons or situations which come into your life for a brief moment in time - subtly, unexpectedly - as a whisper.

(Click the play button to listen in streaming audio by the author!)

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Give me your feed back on the table of victory God has set before you and how he has helped you over come the "dragons" of your life by clicking on the comments section!!! :-)

God Bless,

Coach Stan

http://www.realcoach.org/.

THE SECRET TO OVERCOMING THE URGE TO "PUT THINGS OFF"

2005-08-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

THE SECRET THAT IS NOT A SECRET AT ALL

The purpose of this article is to discuss habits and what can happen, over a period of time, when we put things off or when we don’t finish the tasks we have started. At the end of this article, you shall discover a potentially life changing secret, that is not a secret at all.
When we continuously put things off or don’t finish a task, it can become a bad habit. Habits can be either good or bad. When things become a habit, we do them without even thinking about them. This is great – when the repetitive actions are positive. However it can be bad – when the repetitive actions are negative. It matters not the occupation of a person or if they’re a leader. Each person should seek to create repetitive actions which are positive and create good habits. Additionally, each of us should seek to stay away from repetitive actions that are negative and create bad habits.
Now each of us have procrastinated or put things off for various reasons. And to be honest, sometimes it is necessary to set things aside for valid reasons – like family emergencies. True emergency situations do not need to be justified. However, it is when we become like the person in Proverbs 6:9-11 that it is not alright. This Proverb talks about the foolishness of indolence. Indolence means being lethargic and not showing any interest or making any effort. Proverbs 6:9-11 says - “6 Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, 7 which, having no captain, overseer or ruler, 8 provides her supplies in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest. 9 How long will you slumber, O sluggard? When will you rise from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to sleep— 11 So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, and your need like an armed man.”
The ant is self-motivated. It has developed good habits that cause it to do what is necessary to survive and thrive. Those who always put things off will drift away from what’s necessary in order to feed their bad habits. They become like the sluggard. A little sleep here, a little slumber there, and a little folding of hands to sleep and poverty can come upon you like a prowler. This “lack of action” can treat you with the cruelty of an armed robber if you do not do what is necessary to create positive habits. In turn, positive habits will produce and develop physical, mental, and spiritual growth within you.
Another problem is that many of us have trouble following through with a task. We start projects or tasks with great energy, but never follow through on them. Again, there are valid reasons not to finishing a project or task. Emergencies and strange situations do pop up from time to time. However, each of us should endeavor to finish what we start. Proverbs 12:27 says, “ 27 the lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man’s precious possession.” What a waste of both resources and time. This guy went through all the trouble of hunting down his game, but will not follow through with the task of feeding himself. He is so close to the ultimate goal he set out upon, but in the end – he missed the mark. This is like practicing for a 100 yard dash and when the race starts – the runner quits at the 50 or 60 yards mark. No injury or mishap – not at all. It’s just that the runner has never developed the positive habit of completing a race. The hunter has never developed the positive habit of finishing the job and feeding himself.
The diligent – those who are persistent and hard working – are a different story. The diligent do not put off until tomorrow – what can be done today. The diligent, also, finish what they start. The diligent value their resources. The diligent not only value their time, but the time of others.
So, what are you putting off? Where are the areas in your life that you are not following through on? Once you have answered these questions; then you will know what you have to work on. These are areas where you need to be diligent. But remember, you did not develop bad habits over night, but over time. Nor are you likely to change your bad habits on your own. In order for you to develop the positive habits that will promote your physical, mental, and spiritual growth; you will need to seek out a mentor to walk this road of change with you. Whether you find an elder or leader in the church or a big brother or sister figure; find someone to hold you accountable. And here is the big secret that is no secret at all: Admit your bad habits, set goals to change them, create action steps (something you can do daily), and find an accountability partner/mentor. It’s not a secret at all, that you can be the best you that you can be – if you trade out your bad habits for good ones.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, E-ZINE WEB SITE OR SHARE WITH A FRIEND? You can, as long as you include the following with it: Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really check out his FREE audio course "Seven Basic Steps To Becoming a Servant Leader" and other FREEBIES at http://www.realleadership4coachinglife.com/ Questions/Need assistance call 214-629-7217.

For more information on Coach Stan go to www.realcoach.org.

Christian Ethics In Today's Work Place

2005-08-11T13:38:00.000-05:00

Christian Ethics & Servant Leadership in Today’s Workplace & Society

Sundered Knight:

Although the world,
Denies the weak aid and justice,
Scorns charity,
Diminishes morality
And Godly virtues daily.

Holding no places for honor
Nor honesty
And exiling all
Who hold these traits dear,
Still,
It is better to be a sundered knight
Than no knight at all

By S. Bryant Lewis

If one wishes to be a Knightly leader in the world today, it is very difficult to do so. Why? The world makes it so hard to do what is right - what is honorable - what is Christ-like. The negative peers in our lives tell us things like, "... nice guys finish last and that no good deed goes unpunished." The poem Sundered Knight speaks of those who strive to do what is right in a world that sometimes has little tolerance for ethics.
So what exactly is a Knight? He or she is a servant leader and a fervent supporter or defender of the weak. They also defend and support Godly virtues like morality, honor and honesty. A Sundered Knight is someone who is sometimes ridiculed or put down for doing what is ethical - for doing what is right. He or she is sometimes even treated with contempt in society for their moral or ethical beliefs. Have you ever felt like a sundered Knight?

The world we live in did not become so harden overnight. This has been happening for a long time. In the time of Zephaniah [an Old Testament prophet], there was a serious lack of morals and ethics. Just like a cancer, this lack of morality and ethics ate away at every part of society in Zephaniah’s time. Zephaniah's people, just like those of today, were arrogant, treacherous, profane, and did violence to the law. [Zep 3:1-7]

As a servant leader – a Knight, never place trust in peers who use negative peer pressure. More times than not, these negative peers will not come through for you, so don't expect them to. This way you will not be disappointed. Look to Jesus for your example. The Lord promises over and over that he will lift us up. Hold him to his promises and let the Lord be the one you wish to lift you up.
So when you feel the negative peer pressure, at work or in public places, is getting to you, seek the Lord to lift you up. The Lord is always true to his promises. Seek out the encouragement that God gives in his word - [Pv. 24:16, 19-20] 16... A righteous [man] may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity. 19 Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the wicked; 20 for there will be no prospect for the evil [man;] the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
These verses were true in the time of King Solomon and are so very true, even today. Those negative peers taking short cuts to get out of something or to get ahead. Such negative peers are not mentors to be looked up to or be jealous over. Never forget, that negative peer pressure is alive and well in the work place and society. There really is no lasting prospect for those who are seeking short cuts to get out of work or to get ahead at work or in today’s society.

God knows your situation. And because God does know your situation, it is with an understanding and tender heart that he says to his Knights: [Is 51:7] " Listen to me, you who know righteousness, you people in whose heart [is] my law: Do not fear the reproach of men, nor be afraid of their insults.

Although the world "...diminishes morality...” in Zephaniah's time, God was there for him. [Zep 3:5] The LORD [is] righteous in [our] her midst, He will do no unrighteousness. Every morning He brings His justice to light; He never fails, but the unjust knows no shame.

Always be faithful, always be encouraged, always be a servant leader, and always be a Knight, who defends the weak and holds all Godly virtues dear.

By Coach Stan

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